Three Dying People Talk About Death | On Death | Human

Are you scared of dying? I'm not scared about dying. I'm scared about leaving my family. The idea of not being there for my son when he needs me or being there for my wife,

that's what scares me. I'm Brian Hill. My name is Laya. JJ Singleton. JJ, how old are you? I'm 34. Do why you're here today? What we're talking about?

Do why you're here today? What we're talking about? We're going to talk about death and having a chronic condition that limits my life. Just out of nowhere, my kidneys failed and ended up in the hospital with endstage renal disease. 6 years ago, I was diagnosed with a

6 years ago, I was diagnosed with a colon cancer and a year later, it came back and spread throughout my body and they told me it was a terminal diagnosis and incurable. Are you dying? Yes. I would say yes.

I would say yes. So Parkinson's, it doesn't kill you, but the symptoms of it can lead to earlier death. When did you first find out? , I was at 27 years old. I was going to college and started losing my vision, going blind, and that's when I ended up

going blind, and that's when I ended up in the hospital. By that point, I had about 5% function left in my kidneys and then was really lucky and had a transplant and was doing really well and then unfortunately started rejecting. I continue to fight get chemo treatments.

I continue to fight get chemo treatments. Why get the chemo treatment? Because I'm not ready to die yet. There's a lot left to do and a lot of people I believe I can help. When you first found out that you had Parkinson's, how did it feel in that moment?

moment? It's a heavy question. , I think leading up to my diagnosis, I knew I had Parkinson's. My mom had it. And the moment I was diagnosed, it

was almost a relief. As weird as that sounds, knowing what's going on with your body is better than not knowing. I was losing an extreme amount of weight. I couldn't use the bathroom. And then my at the end my skin was turning

then my at the end my skin was turning gray is when my mom made me go to the doctor. When you found out, were you angry? I was it's like a sense of desperation or it was just like a freeze, ? It was that disassociation of like how could this be happening to me? I'm young. I'm supposed to have my whole

I'm young. I'm supposed to have my whole life ahead of me. And , if I didn't go into the hospital, I think when I did, I may have not lasted more than like another week. There are times where I'm very angry and that anger is

it's terrifying. It's terrif it's so terrifying I push it away. Yeah. Is that good to push it away? No, it's not. And as you can see, as we're talking, I'm becoming more disinetic because that stress from the anger is coming up. , I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. No, it's good. It's good. Do you feel like you're dying? Some days I really do like some days my body feels like it's just rejecting and falling apart. That's the days where I really feel like it's still controlling my life and don't have that much time