Tate Confidential #342

He thought you were a mountain of conquest, but you're a canyon of poo. He swore to God. He swore his life. And now that I think about it, I think I always envisioned him as black. You think you're a mountain of conquest, but you're a canyon of poo. Fair.

Fair. What good man says poo? I'm just saying I'm Listen, I don't what you are. Nobody likes what you are. I'm just pointing it out. Yeah, you're a canyon of poo and you're never going to beat me at Smash Bros. Yeah, fair. You think you're a mountain of conquest?

Yeah, fair. You think you're a mountain of conquest? What do you want me to do? I just picked up the controller, bro. What do you want me to do? I can't help it that you [ __ ] suck. Don't shoot the messenger. There's no other group of men boarding a jet calling things poo.

It just isn't. A mountain of poo isn't a thing. Canyon. Canyon of poo. You thought you were a mountain of conquest, but you're a canyon of poo. Why am I here?

You'll never recover financially. 77 alpha turn left 0 6.

Yeah. Make contact. What are we doing? Where are we going? Andrew decided to ask for the air conditioning to be turned off. This is now the hottest plane in the world. It's pretty. Excuse me. My brother's very stupid. Can you put the air conditioning back on? Whoa.

Whoa. We outvoked him. You think you're a mountain of conquest, but you're a canyon of poo. We're poo Canyon. Thank you.

Thank you. I hope it's coldoo canyon. Why are we on a plane? We're going to Turkey. Why? See if we arrested. What's in Turkey? Well, long story. Turkish people.

Ice cream. Okay. Okay. No [ __ ] Turkish delight. Well, you are American, so I thought you didn't know. Why are we going to Turkey? Well, I might be building a boat. I don't want to go check on it. So, you're building a super yacht. So, we have to go check out.

So, you're building a super yacht. So, we have to go check out. I might be building a superh allegedly. Allegedly. On house arrest, Tristan convinced me for us to build a super alleged. So, we're going to allegedly go look at it. Cuz you have to break a champagne bottle

it. Cuz you have to break a champagne bottle over the hull. Otherwise, it's bad luck at the beginning. And we need launched. Yeah. Luck. Yeah, we need luck. So, I'll I'll risk getting arrested on land to have luck at sea. That's fine. 100%. What is the name of the

I was thinking of calling it hear me out cuz it's going to be really dark in color and it's shaped this so it looks a knife. I'm thinking about calling it the Marcel Mullings. They've never lost. Real bad. Y

it's for you. No, it's for you, friend. You sure? Yeah. Don't worry about the jet. Marca, what do you think of the jet? It's a bit small. I'm going to be honest.

I'm going to be honest. I'm used to bigger and better things. It's a little bit small. In his defense, Andrew, we've flown on really big jets, but we flown on loads of smaller ones. Marcel's only really flown on big jets. So why are you

downgrading his lifestyle this way? I'm just saying my jets are usually bigger. But hey, what happens on the big jets? Uno comes out. People lose. I've never lost. Some people lose. Yeah, you

Some people lose. Yeah, you I have never lost again. You will never beat me at Uno. You lost in a jet. So you didn't want one with a big table. You will never beat me at Uno. Uno. Uno.

[ __ ] old. On my jet. April 23rd. You lost. On my jet. My jet. April 23rd. You lost to me. Never. You should put money out. Uno.

Uno. I've never lost a game of Uno in my entire life. I've never lost. I swear on my best friend Marcel's good fortune. I have never lost the game of Uno ever.

Speed Bird 7 232 heading 235 report localizer established runway 27 bird

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Heat. Heat. Heat.

Heat. Heat. I got me.

I got me. Can you take photo, please?

Can you take photo, please? Really quick, please. You are my idol. You are my idol. All , guys. Thank you. That's it, guys. That's it. Cheers. Thank you. So, Luke, you're wearing the same things

So, Luke, you're wearing the same things you were wearing in Dubai. Yeah. Since Dubai, you've made at least $15 million. America, too. These are my clothes. who sells trousers? Probably. Let me buy you a new outfit. No, I'm good. Rolex? Nope. Sure you don't have a watch on? These are I don't need a watch. Hublo over there. No, these are my favorite jeans.

These are I don't need a watch. Hublo over there. No, these are my favorite jeans. Would you a diamond AP? My diamond. , thanks. Hat or t-shirt? No thanks. New shoes. Nope. Favorite shoes. Luke, you got paid at least 15 to 20 million last 3 months. These are my favorite things. Bailey, why would I need more things?

Bailey, why would I need more things? New pouch. No, I this pouch. This is my favorite pouch. Well, in fact, it's a little bit broken, but I've decided because I keep breaking them, so I have to keep buying new ones. So, I decided just to adapt. What's in the pouch? I think the world can never know. That's that's classified information. My pouch only has limited amount of space.

that's classified information. My pouch only has limited amount of space. Yes. Gabby. No, I don't drive anymore. I retired on driving. We already knew this. We establish this. It's a big fat diamond chain. It's heavy. Let's get loot a boat the same size as ours. No, I don't need a boat.

Let's get loot a boat the same size as ours. No, I don't need a boat. I call it I can't I can't sail. The Denine. That's a good name. It's a good name. Tempted. Paint it blue. It's a good name. Paint it blue. Okay. Okay. But no. Should we buy Luke a brand new outfit? No. Luke, what do you want us to buy?

But no. Should we buy Luke a brand new outfit? No. Luke, what do you want us to buy? Nothing. You have We have millions. I don't need anything. When I was your age, it was my dream to come here and be able to Yeah. I don't need anything. Anything you want in the world? Nothing. If I wanted, I'd have it. I don't need it. So, you're going to wear the same

If I wanted, I'd have it. I don't need it. So, you're going to wear the same t-shirt, same jeans you've been wearing since the beginning. Maybe a new hat. Why? Maybe look at maybe little guy. In fact, I'm realizing every single time

In fact, I'm realizing every single time I travel, I need less and less. I have to think, wait, what I used to put in my bags? I don't need this. Don't need that. Take it to the hat shop. Yeah, but I want a touristy hat. , those tourist hats that speaks to

hat. , those tourist hats that speaks to have a little logo of exactly where we are now. We need to get him a box. Not a fancy hat. It can't be fancy. Has to be 10 max. Hey, you said hat. Yeah. Most expensive hat in

the expensive hat. Best in the world. The best in the world. Surprise me. Bring me three different flavors. Three different flavors. Surprise me.

flavors. Three different flavors. Surprise me. , do you want something fresh or sweet? Surprise me. Okay. And sir, do you want it? Classic one, pineapple, and special. What's the special? Special one is we have the flavor. Special. Okay. Thank you.

Special. Okay. Thank you. How much is 15,000 Turkish? What is it? What even is that? It is $400 less. That's a shisha. Let's try it. Best in the world. Best in the world. So, if it's the best in the world, I have really high hopes because it's a super bold claim. It is a big deal.

it's a super bold claim. It is a big deal. Tell of the guy who's been everywhere smoking shisha everywhere. It's a very bold claim to say, "Wait, this shisha is the best in the world." , he put his life on the line. Yeah, cuz someone has to pay for deception. Obviously, I've been there before. Say again. I've been there before. True. You did do this about being a

Say again. I've been there before. True. You did do this about being a camera. You can't lie. Can't lie. So, now we have to decide on me. We said we're going to give him exactly 2 years and 286 days for decide. He's not the best cameraman in the world, is he? We should kill him. What? Wait, what? Bailey gave us

What? Wait, what? Bailey gave us Bailey's original Bailey's original video. I'm the best cameraman in the world. Try me out. Blah. Didn't us three agree that tonight was the night where we decide. No, tonight was the night we decided if you're Luke's cousin. And if I'm not or if you're a liar, you call.

And if I'm not or if you're a liar, you call. Personally, I think he's been lying. I'm an Italian con man who's wormed his way into your family. What's your name? Emilio Largo. Largo's here. I'm darko Korean. I'm Felix.

I'm Felix. You are Felix Lighter. No, you're Eugene Carmichael. Isn't Felix Lighter black? Blue? No. In the movies, but not in the books. , in the books he's a Texan. He's American. American Texan. Yeah, they did make him black. They blacked him. Cowboy hat. Yeah, I remember him as black Tristan.

him. Cowboy hat. Yeah, I remember him as black Tristan. Movies got me. They deied him. Yeah. Yeah. The disappointment on Trist. Listen, I'm disappointed now. I've listened to a lot of those books with Tristan, Cardinal S. And now that I think about it, I think I always envisioned him as black.

And now that I think about it, I think I always envisioned him as black. Spying would have been so cool in the 50s. Having a cigarette, being in the hotel lobby, the only good hotel in the city, seeing the other important people, hearing things, having a nice car, [ __ ] the women. Now, now spying is being a [ __ ] autistic [ __ ] sitting

at MI6 HQ. You're a diversity hire because you speak Hindi and you're sitting there as a little Indian tapping into white people's accounts seeing if they're mad that they lost their country. S I got the spying report and he does not the curry spying for 35,000 pounds a year. There's no James

35,000 pounds a year. There's no James Bond spy. Even spying is becoming gay. There's nothing cool left at all. How the [ __ ] There's no James Bonds. It's just James. Think of something Indian that rhymes with ball. Damn it. Make a [ __ ] joke.

with ball. Damn it. Make a [ __ ] joke. You are [ __ ] Why are you even in this show? [ __ ] useless. Remember when Tristan thought there'd be no cats here in Turkey? yeah. We didn't even film it for Takeoff. Tristan was swore to God. He swore on his life there'd be no cats in

Turkey. None. I was there. I was there. That's how you remember it going down. Yes. And now every single time I see a cat, I have to point it out just to show to him how wrong he was. That is true. I swore I swore on my life and every

male member of my family's life that there were no cats in Turkey. I did do that, Bailey. All I said was, , I think there might be some cats in Turkey. That's all I said. That's out of nowhere. That's what you said. Yes, that's what I said. That's what it started it. And then he started talking about how there's no cats in Turkey at all.

That's what happened. I was there. You promise to be the best you should in the world. This is the best you should.

You promise to be the best you should in the world. This is the best you should. You promise, ? Just special. He's confident. All . He's confident. He's confident. I'm so excited about a bro. Me, too. I haven't had shish in two

days. Nearly had to go back to jail. It's stressful. Even I'm excited. I'm excited. It does smell pretty good. It does. It does. I was put this shish over there in the corner.

It's for him. TD7 on the fruit. It's pretty good. It's pretty good. I

It's pretty good. It's pretty good. I wouldn't say it's the best in the world yet, but it is pretty good. So, he's alive. I can't murder him. I would say it's the best in the world.

N out of 10. N out of 10. Nice. ,

now that's the cloud. I'll tell you when it's done. 9.5 Heat. Heat. No one can do this. It's not smart.

No one can do this. It's not smart. Dang perumus silacary. You want Poseidon on your side on a boat bro. Black guy in a cage. Girls be , "What's that? What's that?" Ship slave. Ship slave.

"What's that? What's that?" Ship slave. Ship slave.

Ship slave.